22 07 2010

by AngryPanda

Well not really. I don’t intend to tell you who I am here. Gotcha! I seem to be one of the few people who remember that privacy is an important thing and your best protection on the net. Also I have a rather unique last name and I really don’t need my boss, colleagues and possible future employers see me write about nerd stuff and rant like an angry emo-potato here (and believe me I will).

But since no one reads introductions anyway here’s a little bit about myself: I’m 29 soon, quite possibly to be 30 soon. I’m a technical writer in the most mediocre European country imaginable, I’m not nearly witty or funny enough to make this Blog any sort of success and I’m the anti-geek. If you wonder what that means you’ll find out soon enough but basically what I’m saying is that while I’m an utter and complete nerd (I use the two words interchangeably, sue me if you don’t like it) I seem to like the same things other of my kind do for completely different reasons. Not better reasons; in fact they usually seem much less classy. Want a really nerdy example? The 2007 animated TMNT Movie (It is awesome go get it.). A typical conversation between the sort of nerd I tend to meet and me would go like this:

-Nerd: You’ve seen the TMNT animated 2007?

-Me: The what?

-Nerd: The new Turtles movie!

-Me: Yep. That was awesome.

-Nerd: *failing excitedly because he’s found a soul mate, barely keeping himself from trying to mate with me* You liked it? Meh I don’t know. I’m not sure it kept the spirit of the franchise but I have to admit the character development was very deep and I mostly enjoyed the scene with Leonardo and Rafael on the rooftop, revealing their troubled but brotherly relationship.

-Me: *taking a step back* I sorta liked the really cool action, cooler monsters, even cooler foot clan and the absolute queen of coolness Karai. (Seriously, I just googled it while writing this and I think Zhan Ziyi could make me melt into a puddle by just speaking to me.)

-Nerd: *follows because the concept of distance is anathema to his overweight sweaty body, stuck in a too tight Spider-Man shirt* Ah those things were just superficial and I hate how they try to be cool instead of using original designs. It doesn’t add anything of value to the story.

-Me: *another step back* The story of the four teenaged ninja turtles?

-Nerd: *slightly taken aback by me apparently not treating this movie with the seriousness it deserves* Yes. Of course. This not just for children. These are very mature stories.

I’d have to lie if I remember how I got away but I think I managed to make a half-hearted polite excuse. I may have grown up to a hate-filled spite-full bastard but somewhere deep down I’m still six years old and I think cyber ninjas are cool and that’s all there is to it. I like the Michael Bay Transformer movies even though they have no “depth” (I’d take a little less blurry though. Please?) I hate the Spiderman movies because Peter Parker is an insufferable brat and while I think it’s the weakest of the X-men movies even Wolverine Origins works for me. In almost everything I see the nerds of this planet and me seem to be at odds. I’d  go into more detail but I guess those deserve their own posts. This probably means you won’t like reading what I write here. I don’t blame you.

In fact, the main reason why I created this Blog is that I sometimes want to express opinions that I do not wish to share on the two boards I usually frequent because I think they are too hate-filled and selfish to expose people I like to them. This is pretty much the trashcan. I’ll try to make it a funny one but we’ll see how successful I’m at that. Also this blog will have cursing. I can say fuck without a “beep” sound coming out of my mouth and I intend to use that superpower despite the well documented fact that it turns children in video game addicted mass murderers to hear it.

If after all of this you still want to go on reading then welcome to This Would Be More Awesome With Lasers!

PS: My opinions are very often about older things (since I take my time to reflect on new stuff I see. Plus I’m often too lazy to write right away. It takes a few days of nagging in my head to a rant to burst out.) and even then not very well informed. Just in case the above wasn’t enough warning.

PPS: This was a horrible introduction but I think no one reads these things anyway so I guess that’s ok.

PPPS: This introduction is so bad it just doesn’t stop bugging me so to make up for it I give you this absolutely awesome picture of Karai and the Foot. (see the connection the post? Yeah me neither but I think there might be one.).

If you don't see how awesome they are your life is so sad and empty that I don't even have the heart to tell you to get lost.




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