My job is fucking dangerous

23 07 2010

by AngryPanda

You’d think that writing user manuals to what I lovingly call “electronic garbage” would be a boring desk job. But apart from the remote-controlled helicopters fighting over my head and the MP-3 Players that go up into flames while you try to charge them some products are just outright mean. This time: electric massage pads.

These things are the devil’s work.

Sales people will tell you that they are supposed to stimulate your muscle movements to relax you and give you the same feeling as a real massage. Sales people are also all going to hell but since that’s too good for them you should kick them in the nuts just for good measure while they’re still here. Or make them use these products. What they in fact do is nothing less than electrocuting you in tiny cruel little steps. You can choose settings between “annoying” and “oh my god make it stop!”. While writing these things I have to come up with description on how different settings can make you feel better which really hurts because I hate obvious and cheap lies. Worse I have to try out how the settings work and I just can’t resist putting all the pads on my arm at once and using the highest settings just to see how much that hurts. Maybe the title of this should have been “I’m a fucking moron” instead…

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