This is almost the worst movie idea ever

4 08 2010

by AngryPanda

The worst movie idea is a lofty title to aspire to, considering that things like the Phantom and Catwoman were actually made. But despite the fact that it doesn’t have a man in  pink catsuit (I’m still not ever that. How could they ever? I mean.. alright that’s not the point here), or worse having a Catwoman NOT in such a suit, the movie you’ll see here would simply win because it is of such unfathomable lack of creativity that even they seem to be works of genius, only comparable to Leonardo Da Vinci, if held to the same standard . Behold!

How do I even start on this one?

  • You do not name a ship the Titanic 2. It would just not happen. People remember that name and have a certain bias towards it that might interfere with your success in selling tickets.
  • If you are actually brain-dead enough to do that you most certainly do not plot the exact same course.
  • Assuming you have been that dumb (how would that individuals still remember to breathe?) you still have a much more modern ship (as said in the trailer) that could detect icebergs a lot easier.
  • Even if it didn’t you would not have designed the ship with the same problem of inadequate emergency seals and lifeboats.
  • Even if you would manage to plan all that you would not find anyone to finance the actual project. Hopefully no one would even be mad enough to even consider this as plausible fiction for something as  unrealistic as a movie.

Ah well. Someone did. The fine folks at the Asylum (why does this name make so much sense…) who brought us such unique works as “I am Omega” and “Transmorphers“. And the trailers are much better than the rest of these knockups (well ok Transmorphers does have lesbians which counts for something I think…). What does baffle me is that this is almost an attempt at their own creative work. They are not pushing this movie in the wake of “real” movie as per their usual modus operandi. They clearly attempt to profit from Cameron’s Titanic because the simple fact it is labelled “2” is most likely intended to make the potential buyer think this has anything to do with it. Of course they can excuse the title by claiming it is because the ship is the Titanic 2. I’m starting to see what the plan there is.

So why is this not the worst movie idea ever?

Simple, as hilarious as this is, the Asylum doesn’t count as a real movie studio by any reasonable standard. They produce hoaxes intended for mom’s on the hunt for presents and similar unsuspecting victims. The whole Part2-angle is just another way to go at it. So they just don’t qualify. Trying to make money by tricking people is still a more legitimate way to make money than honestly trying to make this guy a success.

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