God I hate fanboys

3 09 2010

by AngryPanda

This picture made nerds flail and lose control over their bowels a few months ago.

Yes I mean you! You, the person who watched Spider-Man 2 and claimed this is what superheroes are about. You who claim to hate Wolverine but buy every book with him in it. You, who resents every little change and keeps every title that doesn’t have an X in the name in complete stasis. It’s your fault that Spiderman can’t wear black. It is your fault Ben Reilly didn’t work. Didn’t hurt? Well, how about this? “One more day” is your fault too. Everything that is static and unchanging is your fault from Hal Jordans return to Superman still wearing his underwear outside. Because you just can’t get over the fact that something might be different from the book you read then you were six. I might know you in COH, I might even like you but you can be sure as hell I hate that part about you. I’d dig it out with a spoon if I could. The most recent example of fanboy-madness I remember was the fuzz over Stranzcynski’s run of Wonder Woman. He wanted an updated look because he intended to tell an intense story. He chose nicer words but every human being who thinks clearly sees that THIS is porn. Worse it is bad porn and a teenaged masturbation fantasy. This is the stuff that is dug up to make fun off if you try to bash comic books. I think the complaints were mostly about the jacket but considering things like THIS I’m pretty sure the lack of jerkoff-value was the main problem. All the proof needed for this came in issue 602 then she does loose the jacket and we get to see this:

I like the bands. Although I can already hear the "90s" cries.

If you really take a look at this you see that almost every part of the old costume is still there. Without the jacket all that changed is that the bustier looks a bit more armored and the star spangled panties were replaced by actual pants. This is an improvement in every regard except one. The ones who want to complain about that can feel free to send me hatemail but I’m not sure how easy that will be with one hand. For everyone else: If we ever want a serious chance to see a female hero leading in a movie this is the way to go. It’s a modern adaption of a cheesy old costume, keeping the spirit of the original. Much like Hal Jordan’s suit in “First Flight” this should be an acceptable compromise for everyone. And if you really can not accept any sort of change in your beloved icons you might want to consider that you don’t really want new comics, series and movies. You want to keep your memories. That’s fine. Keep them, just don’t go look for the new stuff. And if you must buy something there will always be a dozen Marvel titles with Wolverine the only X-Men who never changes his costume so you can still love him. And yeah, Batman will keep wearing underpants too. Just for you.



One response

20 12 2010
Links of the week « This would be more awesome with lasers

[…] Armor for Spider-Man: Guys, get it. It doesn’t matter if it looks good or bad. The fanboys go to war about every single change be it Spider-Murkowski oder Wonder-Woman. […]

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