Ten thoughts: Screfourm

18 04 2011

by AngryPanda

This isn’t going to be a habit but I didn’t see Scream 4. I saw two or three of them, I don’t even remember. It might have been four but since that just came out it is unlikely. It certainly feels like it has been at last 12.

1. Yes I really haven’t seen it. Maybe I’m wrong and you have actually seen it and think it is the greatest piece of art since Dinoriders but let’s face it: It isn’t and you’re a twat.

2. As bloody always there’s already a review up. I wouldn’t even mention this anymore but Bob is on my hitlist for posts in the next few weeks and he did earn the mention this the quote:

This started out as an alphabetical list of everything you could possibly do that would be more worthy of your time than seeingScream 4,” but when it got to be page 106 and I was only up to “Aardvark Racing” I decided to go in a more specific direction. Of course, I hate to just throw work away, so I did contact a publisher to see about releasing the list itself as a book – “Things More Worth Doing Than Seeing Scream 4” by MovieBob – although the publisher is strangely insistent that they alreadypublished the same basic manuscript under the title “The Encyclopedia.

3. Is Hollywood really so burned out for ideas that they have to recycle the thing they did the last time they didn’t have a new idea and had to go with self-references?

4. I so hate serial killer movies. Yogurtface is just some twat with a knife. He could have been killed by anyone at any time with simple kitchen tool. Personally I’d go for a frying pan.

5. As you might have guessed from the title the real reason I even mention this is the l33t in the title. It never fails to crack me up if the industry tries to be “hip” and keep up with the kids yo. This shit is already only used in joke or by imbeciles who’d drown on their own droll of their mom wouldn’t come down to the basement and wipe it off now and again. But hey, they just discovered it and got down with the street. Word up my homies. As it where. Even more impressive they even got it right. Despite the fact that this is used by the lowest sort of internet troll and you can even read it up that’s rarer than you’d think. I might have mentioned this before.

6. I really don’t like people and just like Jenny I think stabbing is a perfectly natural reaction to them. So really, how boring do slasher movies have to get to not be interesting to me. Or is the fact I don’t give a shit about the victims the problem?

7. If you absolutely must make a movie about someone in black & white murdering people with sharp objects I got your start right here. Behold!

8. Ok, I don’t really have ten thoughts about this. I don’t think in the whole history of all four movies anyone involved had more than five. At least creative ones, I’m sure the guys in accounting had to use their brains.

9. Since I don’t have anything else I want to say that there should be more movies about fighting pandas.

10. Wait, there are. In fact I need to write about Kung Fun Panda! Why did I take the time to write about this scream crap?!




One response

28 04 2011
Then thoughts: Thor « This would be more awesome with lasers

[…] can’t believe I only made two of these so far. One which was me drooling and the other I didn’t even see. Well here’s Thor! The girl to my left wouldn't stop swooning over […]

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