Did Superman already punch Bin Laden?

4 05 2011

by AngryPanda

This one is for the Americans. I planned a bigger entry about some of this stuff but that one will take some research and considering current events I think at least some of the basics need to be said now. Once more the world is watching in awe and jealousy because the US sometimes actually get shit done.

Now once can argue if it is appropriate to celebrate death by dancing in the streets and if one should be proud of conducting illegal assassinations in foreign nations. Yes it needed to be done but I personally think that a bit of decorum and seeing this as a necessary evil rather than a reason to celebrate would be more appropriate. But you don’t have to listen to that crap from me because there’s already a bunch of Americans saying exactly that.

Example: “USA! USA!” is the wrong response by David Sirota

I could quote a bunch of Americans I know but I didn’t get to ask yet so I won’t but they say pretty much the same thing.  That’s all well and good and I think you should listen to this stuff. But you know who you shouldn’t listen to? Self-righteous, ignorant Europeans who are already bitching of how evil you guys are for shooting that poor helpless mass murdering bastard. Technically I’m a self-righteous, ignorant European so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me either. Quick I need a distraction!

I’m surrounded by these smug twats who practically blame all the evil in the world on the US, mostly in a horribly cheap attempt to feel better and less guilty about themselves (we do live in that luxury first world too..). But more importantly most of their criticism is based on pure ignorance. This is rather ironic considering that is something they so love accusing Americans of. To illustrate I’m going to repeat a little conversation I had yesterday between me “Panda” and another person who in the interest of fairness and neutrality will be called ignorant twat or “iTwat” for short. Feel free to reuse the term for Mac fanboys, you’re welcome.

iTwat: blablayaddayya the Americans killed Bin Laden. That was an assassination  and they are war criminals because of it. Also they are incredibly arrogant for just going into another sovereign county and just start shooting. And their wars are against international laws anyway. That’s what you get if you give too many weapons to hyper religious morons with no education who can’t even read a map. 

(Alright, I don’t remember it all but I’m pretty sure you’ve heard it all before. Also note how all Americans did this and all Americans are to blame. We might disagree with our governments, you guys are clearly a hive mind.)

Panda: You know that’s actually far more complicated. I don’t even know how to start. There are enemies of the wars in the US too, just like there are here and you do know we are in those wars too right? Also Bin Laden kinda had it coming. 

iTwat: Yeah sure but the MAJORITY is like that. Also we are just in those wars because of them. 

Panda: Well isn’t that convenient for us…

iTwat: You like comics, how was the issue with Superman beating up Bin Laden?

(This one was 100% serious. Of course the stupid Americans use their heroes as cheap vehicles for war propaganda, how could it be different?)

Panda: Superman just renounced is American citizenship for rather complicated reasons but among them that he can’t stand for their policies.

iTwat: *blink* You’re joking right? 

Panda: No, the big two DC and Marvel have always held rather critical views over American politics and while DC stays mostly out of politics, using fabricated cities and countries Marvel has used its stories to voice objection more than once. This is especially surprising considering some of their heroes started as WWII propaganda vehicles. Did you know Captain America has given up his title twice during the reign of republican presidents? 

iTwat: Captain America isn’t a right-wing conservative?

(Please note here that in iTwat’s view 90% of all Americans are…)

Panda: No, in fact they had his first major disagreement with politics then he disagreed with the use of the Atomic Bomb against Japan.

iTwat: So he’s an idealist who stands for the orignal principles they had? Why?

Panda: I guess because that’s an ideal people there like to look up to?

iTwat: That’s really surprising. Didn’t know that about Captain America.

And I still think his powers suck and his costume looks like ass.

Yeah he didn’t know that about Captain America and you might think a lack of knowledge about pop-culture doesn’t matter but it does. It just shows that his whole idea of Americans is a construct he made up in his head.

There are some other things he doesn’t know about but still makes fun of. Like the US election system. The justice system. The Tea Party and its backers. How lobbyists work in the US. That California has a larger industry than many  European countries. There’s a whole ton of shit iTwat doesn’t know. And with him all those other arrogant entitled assholes who stand around feeling smug because we are so much better and civilized than America.

This is the truth about most anti-american attitude in the western world. A lack of knowledge. I doubt many Americans give a shit what others think but  if you get insulted you at least deserve to know why. Maybe it is some comfort to know that it is born out of stupidity. The one thing they love accusing you of most.




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