Dear Americans: Please don’t fuck this up

6 11 2012

by AngryPanda

Yes, yes I know you don’t try to be told how to vote be foreigners. Or pandas. If you did you would have already listened to me and voted for Canada and we wouldn’t have this whole mess. But seriously of course  you should vote for what you believe in. It’s perfectly okay if you want to ditch workers rights, health insurance and turn your own country into a third world slave labor force with completely unregulated rich fucks in charge. To each their own. But you know I as an outsider really do have a stake in this too. For one our silly excuses for politicians (we make ours from mud and infuse them with life by forcing them to watch pundits for several years) keep copying US politics and I really don’t want to end up slave-laboring with no health regulations for just enough money to afford my nutrient paste just because you guys thought that would be the patriotic thing to vote for. Or Jesus wanted it. Also if you vote for the wrong guy he tends to blow up significant parts of the world. Usually parts I don’t care about but again our mudpuppets tend to help and throw bomb too which is silly and costs a lot of money.

So please vote for nifty things like poor people not dying, equal rights for minorities, stopping the banks at least a little and not blowing up more parts of the world. I’d really appreciate it and you could do an important step into the future. If you already know what to vote for I’m not going to change your mind. But if you are undecided (read: too lazy to decide if you want to go vote) please consider going to do this panda a favor. I plan to do a top ten list of cartoon villains in the next few weeks and I’d really prefer not to have your president show up in that. Thank you.

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7 11 2012
Thank you America « This would be more awesome with lasers

[…] And for listening to me on the second try. Always listen to the panda. The panda is good. […]

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