Does anyone remember the youtube play button?

9 11 2012

by AngryPanda

This is an entry about a button. Because buttons are awesome. Even Sony knows buttons are awesome. And Sony is run by a bunch of dickheads. But this isn’t about buttons and their upside for gaming. I’m not getting into the Move vs Kinect debate here (hint: No matter what you throw into that one the Wii wins). I like buttons for my gaming. In fact in my book they can all screw themselves. Even the Move and it’s buttons. Why? Because I’m a PC gamer. You want to know how many buttons I use for gaming? 31. Plus a direction stick and a mouse wheel. Oh wait and I forgot the basic mouse buttons. So I use 33 buttons. And some stuff. Since buttons are awesome you can imagine just how great my gaming must be now. Well it would be if they didn’t close my games. The cunts. Now I really wish I was one of these rich internet twats to just throw money at the problem till it goes away. And buy hookers. That’s not situational. I’d always wish I was rich for the later. Anyway I’m not one of those guys who had a smart idea to make cash on the net. Or a stupid idea if you take a look at facebook. Did you know that one of the most important things in this world is the Facebook like button? Of course you do, it is after all that important. And brings me back to the point. Wow that was clever of me. Except it wasn’t my point. My point was buttons but not just any buttons. I’m talking about the YouTube play button.

Now YouTube was another great idea that made someone rich. I admit I wouldn’t have thought of that. I’m still not sure how “hosting way too much shit for free” is in any way a viable business model. I mean I see how they can make money with ads now but did they start out like that? Their business plan was essentially: Create an unsustainable website, sell it for millions, sip mochitos for the rest of our lives. Awesome plan. I need one like that.
Anyway, old YouTube had obviously many problems. Like shitty resolutions, long loading times and the mentioned unsustainable business model. It also lacked some problems new YouTube has. Like being completely unusable in europe due to blocking everything and taking down every video about a cat just because someone in the music industry sneezed and thinks his crap is running in the background. But you want to know what I really miss about old YouTube? Of course you do, you’ve come this far reading this mess after all. I miss the play button. This button:

Now some of you may say: But they still have that button. To which I would answer by filling your mouths with the excrements of google’s programmers. Which probably tastes like cotton candy but that’s not the point. The point you fool is that this button used to do something! What did it do? Well it made videos play. That’s what a play button should do. Don’t tell me it still does that I’m out of disgusting ideas on how to punish you for it. These days the play button only does something if you pause the video first. Then it can make it start playing again. Now that is nifty. But it was way more nifty to only start the video if you click the button first. As in utterly convenient. Because videos starting with no control are shit. If you open some link to look at it later you don’t want it to start playing now. You want it to start playing once you tell it to play. If your browser crashes and reopens with 20 open YouTube windows its kinda shitty if they all start playing at once (I can’t be the only person that tabs like crazy right?). So yeah once upon a time the play button was mighty. Only it would make a video play. Videos would not start on their own. And it was good. And that was my point. You’re welcome.

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15 11 2012
The pale blue dot « This would be more awesome with lasers

[…] Sadly it doesn’t come with the play button either. […]

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