16 10 2014

This is whining. Pure and simple. I have no real right to complain, I belong to the one-third of humanity that is incredibly entitled and wealthy (and if you’re reading this its likely you do too. As a general hint if you have food anytime you want some you’re part of that group). I have friends who have worse conditions than me. I have family members who suffered deaths too horrible to think about. Right now I don’t care. I’m sick of being in constant pain. It’s not mindshattering unbearable plain. But it’s not weak either. Its “bearable” except its there all the time and the border of what is bearable seems to move sometimes. I’m sick of how hard it makes the most basic things, I’m sick of being looked at like I should just take better care of myself. I can’t fucking walk without constant pain. At this point it’s always there. Sometimes it keeps me from sleeping. I could deal with that. But the fact it gets worse with every step I take and yet somehow I’m supposed to do those because you know doing things is what gets you ahead is just too much for me right now. I’m just sick of it. And I’m just a bit angry at the people around me who don’t have it and think everything so soooo fucking easy. I wish they’d have to walk one day on my feet. Let’s see how much fun they think it is to just take the extra 200 yards to buy food on the way home then every step sends jolts of intense pain through the already constant throbbing that drives them mad. Stand in that stupid office meeting for 15 minutes. “just” exercise a bit more. Hell just sit through a whole day with the constant pain trying to concentrate on boring mundane things that just aren’t good enough to distract them from it. Lots of people have health issues but right now I’m just feeling selfish because I’m so sick of pain.

Here is a panda pic so you got at least something for reading this shit.




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