Who should Namor want to fuck?

3 06 2016

I stumbled about this very important question today.

“But if Marvel does a NAMOR movie before they have FANTASTIC FOUR back, whose wife does he try to fuck? That’s like 75% of his schtick.”

How is this even a question? Since the Marvel MCU basicaly doesn’t do women there is only one couple that matters and that any fans are passionate about. And I mean they are realy passionate about them. The wife of course is Captain America’s and the black haired beauty’s name is Bucky Barnes. You would be able to feel the millions of fans screaming out at once and then orgasm the moment this would be revealed.

bucky

 

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Japanese 90s X-Men Opening

9 04 2014

Usually its the west screwing up anime openings but this really is terrible and misleading. The second one is a lot better already but the first almost hurts. Also I have no idea why they would cry to the moon.





Agends of Shield: First episode review

25 09 2013

Well this is going to be short. It was everything I expected after the first trailer and talked about HERE. It also neatly ties in with the Marvel movies, going so far as to have the first source of superpowers that shows up in the show be Extremis from Iron Man 3. You can read about that HERE. It’s a bit like Firefly in that it has a huge cast right from the start and gets to use them real quick. The dialogue is snappy, the characters are quirky and the only real question is if Coulson can stay being so sympathetic if he has to lead the team from episode to episode instead of just being background noise in one of the main hero movies. Oh and Mariah Hill shows up in the first episode which already made the whole thing better for me. More of that please.

The only downside: It looked a lot like a guest appearance. I don't epxect to see much else form her until we get more of SHIELD in the movies.

The only downside: It looked a lot like a guest appearance. I don’t expect to see much else from her until we get more of SHIELD in the movies.





“Thor The Dark World” Full trailer is looking good

7 08 2013

This is a rare beast indeed. I’m looking forward to this because of two reasons really. One is that I just loved the first Thor movie. The second though is that this is going to be immensely interesting. The first Thor was a pretty small fry compared to Iron Man or the Avengers. But with Loki now being as popular as he is this movie might turn out a lot bigger than anyone expects from the sequel of such a small name. The other real question is how it wil hold up to Man of Steel, the movie currently sitting on the throne of super strong dudes with red capes hitting things. Thor had all the heart and chemistry Man of Steel didn’t but still will it be able to match the sheer spectacle of the last Superman movie?

So far this looks like they could pull it off to me. Extra point for not screwing up the colors, knowing from which angel to hold the camera and not using lens flares. All things that are sadly not standard for triple A productions these days.

 
 

 





Looks like I do still give a shit about X-Men “Days of the future past”

31 07 2013

As if that were even a question but considering my view and the really crappy viewer numbers for The Wolverine it seems worth mentioning. Anyway they’re starting the hype for X-Men “Days of the future past” which is not only the one definite story that got me into X-Men back in the day but also the follow-up to the excellent X-Men “First Class”. This movie is about everything that makes X-Men interesting, which is especially noteworthy since First Class did without Wolverine and despite what every idiot seems to think he’s not what makes this series great.





I guess I should give a shit about “The Wolverine”

26 07 2013

But I really don’t. As a lifelong X-Men fan any new entry to their franchise is something I should be intro. But seriously, who cares? Wolverine, despite his massive popularity has always been the most boring of these characters, 90 action heroism distilled into one character. He’s not the most dangerous mutant alive no matter what they say. He’s not even the best at what he does, unless that means selling Marvel comics because alright he does that. I might have still cared because hey anything that can get the X-Men franchise going right? But Singer screwed that up himself, yeah the holy priest of good X-Men movies did it. They did start to ignore their own unwanted movies including the first Wolverine movie. So if this thing can be completely out of continuity at random why exactly does it matter? Is the last one still valid? Apparently this one plays after X-Men 3 which was supposedly erased by First Class. Or not. We sure as hell know Emma Frost showed up in two movies as different persons so something is off here.

Might even have overlooked that but let’s face it the trailer lost me in the first 20 seconds then they ruined the one upside Wolverine does have over other heroes. He doesn’t do the angsty “Oh my god I wish I was normal” thing. Except now he does. This movie is about him wanting to give up being immune to everything and practical immortal. Yeah right. I just got over some very painful diarrhea and let me tell you I don’t buy it. Maybe I’ll muster some interest in the next few weeks but right now it sort of amazes me how much I don’t care about one of my favorite franchises.

Let me know if they hire the guy from Blame to do a real life Wolverine Snikt…

Wolveringessnikt





Movie review: Man of Steel

26 06 2013

by AngryPanda

Let’s try some other format for once. Ten Thoughts works well most of the time but this one deserves a closer look. Not because its that interesting on its own but because its the only  DC movie that’s not of the Batman franchise that matters at all. Oh yeah, reviews of two-week old movies. This is gonna reel in those readers!

the good

  • This movie had more action in the first two minutes than Superman Returns had in over two hours. Yeah it’s not all about the action but I’m not seeing Superman for a character piece so that’s a good start.
  • After all these years it was nice to see another take on Krypton. By going away from the glaciers and crystal tech they clearly established this as a new start, getting some distance between themselves and the wet fart that was the last movie.
  • The actors were all great at what they did. This Superman seemed at the same time more raw and real than any before him while still being impossibly heroic and just plain old “good”.
  • They tried for a new theme that’s never been there before. Instead of some other threat fought by the last Kryptionian it was in fact the survivors of Krypton that were the danger to earth. With Superman having to decide between them and earth. Okay so they were clearly criminals and the bad guys but it’s not like the earth was presented as such a nice place.
  • The villains were great! This can not be stressed enough, a good villain will make or break a movie and far too many have been mediocre these days. General Zodd and his Kryptionians were amazing. They even managed the absolute gold standard of forgotten villain design by having his right hand be an immensely competent, dangerous and good-looking woman. You know that thing they knew since Master of the Universe.
  • The action was glorious. Superman and the other Kryptionians punching each other through skyscrapers was the sort of level they needed to beat Thor who was the other guy in a red cape who is way too popular right now. They took back the crown here, which is of course only to expected with that sort of budget.
  • Character design was pretty great. The new Superman suit looks slick and it works even better seeing how the suits of the other Kryptionians were pretty much the same design, even with the shield with their personal sign (instead of the S). They really sold that this might be some sort of Kryptonian uniform. The cape has been pimped to go over the shoulders (again like Thor) and the other Kryptionians wearing the same style in black really sold it.

the bad

  • While the movie had lots of action I rarely ever cared except if the main villains were involved. Which was thankfully all the time. Still combining the last two points from above I don’t exactly see a franchise in this. With the current villains gone there is nothing really left to care about.
  • Which would be because the rest of the world was just sort of bland and without charm. It was very much like Nolan’s Batman, I just don’t really see these people as anyone I particularly want to visit again. The people of the Daily Planet were just sort of there because they have to, I don’t think the producers wanted them in the movie for any other reason. Lois Lane was as asexual as any woman in a Nolan production. There was no chemistry between her and Clark. Since I already compared the action to Thor I’ll have to do it again. And Thor beats Man of Steel in every aspect here. Except for people punich each other it jsut had the more interesting stakes and more chemistry between the characters.
  • The story writers were so busy being full of themselves they didn’t notice that nothing made any sense. Again much like the Batman movies the thing looks okay and even a bit deep on first glance until you look at the motivations and actions of the protagonists, particularly the villains, then it promptly falls apart. If the Kryptionians could terraform planets, why did they just there and die? And why would Zod even want to change the earth and make his army lose their superpowers? The old Zod loved being all-powerful on earth, so yeah that means the new one was more stupid than the villain from Superman 2. Yay?
  • The humans in this movie were supremely unlikable. I think a bit of idealism would have its place in a Superman movie, in this case the only reason I was against the bad guys was because their plan really was needlessly wasteful and bad for themselves.
  • The soundtrack wasn’t very noteworthy. Superman has a legendary score to live up to and this one felt like it didn’t even try to compete, it was just sort of there.
  • Again just like the other Nolan movies this thing was clearly ashamed of what it was and that just kills it. The main issue here seemed to be Superman’s “shield” with the S on it. They pretty much solved that by having it clearly be a Kryptonian fashion thing but they still had to talk about it no less than three times. Even worse was their super serious attempt at explaining the powers. Earth’s sun ins younger than Krypton’s (okay I can go with that instead of colors) and earth’s gravity is lower. His muscles will be stronger and his skin be more dense. Right.. yeah. Directly after this explanation he practices flying. And he already has his heat vision. Look guys there is only so much gritty realism you can do with fucking Superman. It just doesn’t work. And being ashamed of what you’re making just let’s everyone feel there’s no love in this product.

and the ugly

  • What is it with big budgets and shaky cams and weird angles? None of the Marvel movies are like this but everything just seemed so odd. Is it some sort of new proof that you’re really into art if you refuse to just use basic camera techniques?
  • The colors were almost surreal. If stuff didn’t look faded out and grey it seemed out-of-place. Superman’s suit itself sometimes seemed to be the only real source of color in the entire movie.
  • While it was nice that they had a new design for Kryption it had one problem: It looked like crap. Krypton’s stuff just looked weird, and sort of evil but not as over the top as say Necromonger technology. It was just odd.
  • It may just be me but after a certain point of high rez the faces of these actors just look ugly. Maybe humans face shouldn’t be this detailed. Or maybe that was just because I remembered wearing my glasses for once.

It’s not my day and this whole entry is sort of mess with no heart. But so was Man of Steel so I guess that’s okay. It was a good movie but I came out with no particular desire to see it again or see more of it, which is something the Marvel movies absolutely pull off.

See what I mean about the colors?

See what I mean about the colors?