Valerian and the city of a thousand planets teaser

10 11 2016

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

That is all. Thank your paying attention  to this summary.





I bloody told you Star Trek Beyond would be good

22 07 2016

Dear Trekkies. I fucking told you you so!

Good for all the reasons I said, because this director knows how to shoot action movies about characters. Now if you’d kindly stop being full of yourself and going “ohhh cars am stupid, we are the special elite snowflakes of sci fi how does this guy get to touch our stuff..”and go fuck yourself that’d be swell. Or you know, go watch and enjoy that movie you don’t deserve because the proletarian who made it wasn’t good enough for you.





Shin Godzilla

2 05 2016

As always after Hollywood fucks up a Godzilla movie Japan moves in to apologise to the big lizard (and you would too, after all he makes this THING look small) with a movie of their own. And while this trailer already includes just about as much actual Godzilla footage as the recent western release did ovet the whole movie they do seem to have taken some bad ideas on how much to focus on everything BUT the monster its all about.

Honestly I was hoping I could just go praise the silly shit out of it but like Godzilla 2000 this seems to be mostly needlessly dramatic and serious in an attempt to appease their giant rubber suit god. All those people talking while that music runs are absolutely funny though if you just imagine them all just saying “Godzilla” over and over because that’s actualy exactly how the dialogue in a lot of these things work.

Also what the fuck is up with his tail? I first thought it is a second monster he is fighting or something. Oh and appearantly he’s glowing. Maybe he will explode. It wouldn’t be the first time. Look its complicated. Godzilla has been around a long time and done a lot of weird shit.





Oh look they JJ Abramed Star Wars

28 11 2014

I know fans are going to jerk of to this because just like the new more boring cartoon it gives them their nostalgia fix but seriously did Star Wars need annoyingly loud shock music? And while these scenes do not look as terrible as his Star Trek work did, they still scream Abrams to me, everything seems to close to the camera, the lighting is too hard-edged. Of all the Star Wars I have seen in the last few years and that’s been quite a lot if you include game teasers this seems the least promising.





PAN Teaser – So its Peter Pan’s turn again

28 11 2014

Works for me, I always loved Neverland in a way. And it’s just about perfect for the sort of happy glowie cgi wonders you can fill places with these days. Like Malificent’s bog except a floating island and thus way more awesome. Also ..making it a floating island. Awesome.

I’m feeling like these types of movies are the anti Harry Potter, keeping magic as wondrous instead of the banal chore it is there. And to bash on another much loved franchise, we do deserve a great Neverland after that dread hopeless generic forest “Once upon a time” tried to sell.





“Iron Sky 2” They’re doing this AGAIN?

10 11 2014

 

iron sky

Some of the investors in the first one might have been scammed which should make me hate them but damn I want to see the dinosaur invasion!





50 Shades of I don’t give a shit

24 07 2014

Oh look there is the trailer for a god-awful movie they made out of a god-awful book. And this is a bad thing.

Not because it’s a shitty movie, because there are enough shitty movies that one more won’t matter but this one is like a stealth bomber passing right under every left-wing/nerd guys radar of understanding. Because they are trying to be all politically correct and change our patriarchal society (and its a good thing they do) by attacking all the wrong targets (which isn’t). Recently that’s usually been skimpy outfits in comics and that women are presented as too sexy, showing their complete lack of understanding that women actually had to fight for the right to show of as much as they fucking want, without guys getting to judge them as proven by every religious and patriarchal society making them ashamed of their bodies all the time.¬†Read up on the history of the miniskirt in Britain. It’s not what you probably think it is if you’re worried that women don’t get to dress conservatively enough. Here’s a hint, if men get to decide how women look it’s not like this:

shutterstock_32773597

Its like this:

A-Muslim-woman-wearing-a--007

Please spare me the Islam defense, a nun is basically the same thing. I’m not anti Islam, I’m anti religion. In fact I’m anti-conservative. And that current wave of defending women reeks of hidden conservatives ideals to me. It’s basicaly slut-shaming hiding behind political correctness. So why does 50 Shades of Grey come into play here? Well just like a certain group not getting that it’s perfectly alright if women do want to dress sexy (have you been at a cosplay con… ever? Tell me again the female fans mind the sexy outfits) they also would have their mind blown that women can like sex and in fact have porn.

Now I’m huuuuugely generalizing here and making myself to vulnerable to attack but I don’t feel like turning this into a book so I’m keeping things simple. For a lot/some/a significant number of females I’ve known, erotic writing is their porn. Fanfiction with shipping, all those cheap novels, all that. And for some reason I never got and don’t have to this stuff often includes S/M themes, control and a frightening amount of rape. Don’t worry half the time its guys getting raped by other guys, the fanfic writers even have a cute term for it so they don’t have to call it rape but I can’t remember it right now. All not the point. The point is that while this may blow your mind and doesn’t fit your current few that girls need to be defended from all things smut, they have dirty minds and that is fucking alright. Do not try to make them Princess Peach, because they’re not innocent little idols for you to put on a pedestal, they’re people.

So if some of them like the sort of dirt that 50 Shades of Grey is then let them enjoy it, no one is telling you to not watch redtube to get off either. But here’s the thing 50 Shades of Grey is not:

  • It’s not a patriarchal attack on women’s liberties.
  • It’s not men trying to push a certain worldview about submissive women.
  • It is not a sexual fantasy for guys.

What it is one very simple thing. It’s a sexual fantasy by a woman, made for women, bought and consumed by women.

Now if you’re a woman who doesn’t like that crap, that is perfectly fine and from my view understandable. There are probably some worrisome issues worth addressing here. But please just this once, it really really wasn’t us guys. Not even the pigs. I swear. Our porn looks very very much more obvious. We don’t go for all the buildup, ours goes straight to the blowjobs okay?

And if you’re a guy outraged about this first also consider the points above. And second consider this one: Maybe don’t get to judge what gets some women of. Who the hell do you think you are?

It may not suit our few of an enlightened progressive society but this ain’t Star Trek people, some people are into things you consider garbage. Yes even women. Yes even your mom. DEAL WITH IT.