The biggest fake news story of them all

31 12 2016

The biggest fake news this year that is repeated the most is this whole bollocks story about fake news. It’s one last giant masturbation orgy of the media to feel good about themselves. They, the reporters of hard facts (like 3% or so on actual politics in this election campaign), of solid truths that we can believe (they totally have WMDs you guys! Let’s start a war that will fuck the world for the next 15 years.), of really speaking of the issues that concern us (what, who won’t be able to afford housing because they are born too late? Let’s talk about why Millenials play Pokemon or some shit).

Those assholes are now trying to somehow blame Russian trolls, communists, and the bogeyman. All this fake nonsense could never have spread if the media we used to trust hadn’t pissed away every little bit of faith anyone had in them long ago and with amazing effort.


The fake news story itself? Based on utter shit they have had to distance themselves from by now. Reporting fake news on fake-news is so meta it needs someone way more witty than me to mock it right.

That the whole basis if the blame on Russia comes from the same agency that has lied over and over and over and over before doesn’t even seem to matter. What about that interview Julian Assange gave that was ripped to shreds and Frankensteined back together to support their shit narrative?

“But this could also just be a cynical ass-covering campaign, by a Democratic Party that has seemed keen to deflect attention from its own electoral failures.”

You should really be reading that article instead of this here. But just in case I’m gonna rant on because being unqualified to speak on world events seems to not stop anyone anymore. I expect a job offer from CNN any minute now.

Democrats believe Russians hacked their voting machines. Republicans believe Russian communists control the liberal media. The conspiracy theories even share the same bogeyman.

Republicans believe Clinton runs a child porn ring out of a pizza joint’s basement. Democrats callĀ  Julian Assange a pedophile. Notice something? Everyone just attaches the ugliest thing they can think of to the people they despise and just believes it. And why not? We are used to having nothing but lies served to us all day ever day. Now newspapers publish self-righteous articles about how people believe things based on feelings instead of facts because they are overwhelmed with information. Man if only there was a whole industry who’s job it is to sort and present this information for more accessibility.

Here’s the thing. We know they lie. A decent quality lie is based on some truth. They won’t just invent numbers (mostly), they won’t just invent quotes (mostly) but they’ll still spin and twist them until they are on message. And while not everyone out there can put it in words almost all of us know something is off. We know being leftwing should mean we should not be guilt-pressured into voting for a warmonger. Parents know that their kids dying in some dessert doesn’t really protect anyone. Millenials know that there are no jobs waiting for them and that no amount of weird articles about them will change the fact that it is not their fault. Blue collar workers know production jobs are not coming back. We know that our politicians are making politics for someone and that someone is not us.

Now since it’s not the job of every schmuck like me to know all this stuff all we got to fall back on is our own limited knowledge and our social media echo chambers. So I think they do it for Blackrock and their ilk. Someone else for “Wall Street” some other asshole for “The Jews”.

We see the world slipping away, corruption and incompetence on levels that are just breathtaking and we just know the shit we are told is not quite right. Because we’re not doing well no matter how many times we are told differently. Our sick friends may act brave but we know they don’t get the treatment they’d need. We’re two months behind on the rent for our moldy apartment that is slowly killing us and we know we will never have a decent job or be able to afford even a decent quality of cat food then we get old.

People are not the “losers” of globalization. They are the victims of it. And yet every news outlet out there acts like these things just happen. So we know something is wrong even if we don’t quite know what. And without anyone to inform them, people fall back to conspiracy theories, easy racist answers, whatever else helps. Because if you can’t believe anyone then you can at least buy into a comfortable lie. And if you truly are arrogant enough to think that is not how Trump won and that these people were just idiots then god help you because it is hard to feel smug once they start to drag us into camps.

It doesn’t matter what “side of the fence” you’re on. From the idiot conservative who thinks global warming is a hoax to the asshole liberal who bitches that his backwater relatives would rather burn down everything than accept some gay dude has a nice house and they don’t (what do you expect? That they just cut their phone line, sit down in their basements and silently die?) we are all on the same side of the fence. Getting herded along by politicians and reporters to the interests of the chosen few. That doesn’t excuse that some of us are racists, bigots, and assholes but that is not the cause of this problem. The problem is that the news we consume has been anything but the truth for so long that every cheap lie seems just as valid by now.

No wonder this story gets so much traction. After this utter disaster of an election campaign and an insane amount of free advertising for the orange racist Boglin there’s nothing nicer for our news than having someone else to blame.

Valerian and the city of a thousand planets teaser

10 11 2016


That is all. Thank your paying attentionĀ  to this summary.

I bloody told you Star Trek Beyond would be good

22 07 2016

Dear Trekkies. I fucking told you you so!

Good for all the reasons I said, because this director knows how to shoot action movies about characters. Now if you’d kindly stop being full of yourself and going “ohhh cars am stupid, we are the special elite snowflakes of sci fi how does this guy get to touch our stuff..”and go fuck yourself that’d be swell. Or you know, go watch and enjoy that movie you don’t deserve because the proletarian who made it wasn’t good enough for you.

Who should Namor want to fuck?

3 06 2016

I stumbled about this very important question today.

“But if Marvel does a NAMOR movie before they have FANTASTIC FOUR back, whose wife does he try to fuck? That’s like 75% of his schtick.”

How is this even a question? Since the Marvel MCU basicaly doesn’t do women there is only one couple that matters and that any fans are passionate about. And I mean they are realy passionate about them. The wife of course is Captain America’s and the black haired beauty’s name is Bucky Barnes. You would be able to feel the millions of fans screaming out at once and then orgasm the moment this would be revealed.



Don’t forget to call your Mothra today

8 05 2016

This a new Godzilla movie inbound it’s good to have a day to think of everyone’s favorite cuddly Kaiju.


Holding it in too long: Throwing up US politics

7 05 2016

I’m so tired of reading about US elections. Apart from the sheer bomabstic size of the nonsense it just wears me out how everyone plays their smoke and mirrors game, completly focused inwards, shouting loud about how its all just about the supreme court, unaware of their warships 50 miles of russian borders being in direct provacative games with military planes. Gigantic proxy wars devastating the middle east, their allied countries in europe all swept by a new highly aggresive fashist movements, Ukraine another proxy warzone but sure it’s all about your rightwing yokels and bathroom bills.
Clinton bot 2.0 is just another empty shell for the forces pushing for all this shit. No she’s not the reasonable choice people totaly need to get behind. The world is not just your fucking backyard.
Not that you shouldn’t have cleaned that up long ago.


Shin Godzilla

2 05 2016

As always after Hollywood fucks up a Godzilla movie Japan moves in to apologise to the big lizard (and you would too, after all he makes this THING look small) with a movie of their own. And while this trailer already includes just about as much actual Godzilla footage as the recent western release did ovet the whole movie they do seem to have taken some bad ideas on how much to focus on everything BUT the monster its all about.

Honestly I was hoping I could just go praise the silly shit out of it but like Godzilla 2000 this seems to be mostly needlessly dramatic and serious in an attempt to appease their giant rubber suit god. All those people talking while that music runs are absolutely funny though if you just imagine them all just saying “Godzilla” over and over because that’s actualy exactly how the dialogue in a lot of these things work.

Also what the fuck is up with his tail? I first thought it is a second monster he is fighting or something. Oh and appearantly he’s glowing. Maybe he will explode. It wouldn’t be the first time. Look its complicated. Godzilla has been around a long time and done a lot of weird shit.